Written by Roy Turse
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Friday, 16 March 2012

image for Archbishop of Canterbury quits to follow his theatrical dream: Catweazle the Musical opens next year
An artists impression of Dr Williams as Catweazle

Dr Rowan Williams has signaled his intention to step down as Archbishop of Canterbury, and has signed up for a new musical which is planned for May next year. Catweazle the Musical is a new take on the TV series from the early 70s. It told the story of an 11th century wizard who travels through time to the present day, and how he managed to cope with modern developments like electricity and telephones.

Dr Williams has always been a keen amateur actor, but has jumped at the chance to bring the role of Catweazle to the stage. "I suppose I have the great advantage of looking a lot like the character, and I have sometimes felt a bit like an 11th century wizard lost in the present day when I was trying to reconcile the Church with modern ideas."

The Archbishop's similarity to Catweazle is only marred by the fact that he has huge upbrushed eyebrows and wears glasses. However, when this was pointed out to Dr Williams, he laughed. "Ah, you've made the mistake of thinking these eyebrows are mine. In fact they are attached to the glasses, so when I take of the specs the comedy eyebrows go too. They were an affectation to lend gravitas to the role. My own eyebrows are fairly normal - just like Catweazle's in fact."

The play was written with Dr Williams in mind by Ben Elton, and music for the venture was composed by a good friend of the Archbishop's, Sir Elton John. It will also costar Rupert Grint as the young lad, Carrot, who befriends Catweazle and tries to help him return to his own time.

Dr Williams says he can't wait to start work on the musical. "I know it's all a bit far fetched what with the mysterious being with magic powers who means well but gets things wrong with calamitous consequences. But it's time to put all that behind me now, and begin a new career in musical theatre."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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