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Saturday, 3 March 2012

image for Wind power plans to go ahead
Wind power

Government proposals for a large wind farm off the coast of Scotland were approved today, and construction may begin as early as next year. However, local groups have voiced their concerns.

Anti-wind energy group Breaking Wind were disappointed with the decision, but have said they will continue to protest. Leader of the group, Wendy Miller, said, "I don't know why they bother with wind, when we've got gas. All this wind is just causing a right stink. We won't allow them to be let off."

Another anti-wind group, People Against Renewable Power (PARP) are planning a protest next week. They say that wind power is inefficient and that no power will be generated when the weather is calm.

Wind energy experts Flatulence Generators UK have explained that lack of wind shouldn't be a problem at all, as they are planning to build a giant fan upwind of the wind farm. Spokesman Farty McGuff said, "When the wind isn't blowing so hard, we can use the fans to generate some wind of our own to keep the turbines turning. This will ensure we can let rip at any time. Wind is the future, not gas, so I'll pass gas."

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