Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 1 March 2012

image for '14 hands of horseflesh between yer legs, eh Dave? '
It's all a pile of whorsesh*t, innit

London - A damage limitation exercise is under way tonight after someone posted 'doctored' pictures on the internet of David Cameron's face superimposed onto a bare-chested image of Vladimir Putin riding his favorite white charger 'Cool Sun'.

Downing Street was at pains to stress that Prime Monster Cameron 'might' have ridden Raisa, the 24 year-old retired Met Police mare fostered out to Rebecca Brooks.

The old nag was named after ex-Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev's late wife who too was a redhead, had a slightly long face, whorsey (sic) teeth and a fetching gait a bit like that of a cantering thoroughbred in the straight at Swinley Bottom.

The admission comes amid a mounting furor about Met freebies enjoyed by NewsCorpse executives and their cosy relationship with senior Government members for nearly 20 years.

Mrs Brooks and her husband Charlie live a few fields away from Cameron's Whitney Houston constituency and have been seen riding out together in the Cotswolds.

Of course there is absolutely no suggestion of any improper relationship between fiery-tressed Rebekah and her Blair-spawned sibling Dave whose own meteoric rise to the top job in UK politics is surely the work of nothing more than Divine Providence.

Reports that Andy Coulson also received a grace and favor pet from Scotland Yard in the form of a rescue donkey bound for the knackers are of course rubbish - as are vile rumors that he once rode some sort of 'mule' that might have been used in contraband activities.

Lester Piggot is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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