Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Friday, 24 February 2012

image for Cameron and Clegg  Sort Out  MP's Brawl in Commons Bar!
Anna Hot Lips gave an upside down account of what she saw

Further details have now emerged regarding a brawl between MP's in a House of Commons bar on Wednesday night. The brawl is said to have started around 11pm in a Commons bar reserved for MP's and their guests when Labour MP Bill Joy accused ex-Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly of taking Mr Joy's full pint glass of beer from the counter at the Commons Strangers Bar then replacing it with Partridge-Greenwelly's empty pint glass.

Demanding that Partridge-Greenwelly either return the pint he'd taken or buy a replacement pint of beer for Mr Joy an eyewitness claims Partridge-Greenwelly then told Mr Joy he would do neither demanding an immediate apology from Mr Joy for having falsely accused him of being a beer thief.

The eyewitness, Nineteen year old Hungarian Candyfloss Sue who was performing her pole dancing act in the bar on Wednesday evening says another Tory MP then inflamed the situation by telling Mr Joy to make an urgent appointment to see his GP as he seemed to have forgotten downing his own pint of beer and was presenting obvious signs of having Alzheimer's.

"Nice Mr Peregrine took a large gulp of his beer then turned to Mr Joy and burped loudly into his face," claims Candyfloss Sue.

Candyfloss Sue admits she didn't see what happened next because she had to spin round on her pole to face away from the bar. Fortunately another of the pole dancing girls on duty there on Wednesday evening, eighteen year old Russian Anna Hot Lips says she was facing the bar after Candyfloss Sue had spun around away from it. Says Anna,

"Although I was sliding down my pole upside down when I came to be facing the bar I could see Mr Joy trying to wrestle the glass from Peregrine then saw beer from the glass go splashing on the suits of several other MP's standing nearby. When they demanded someone pay to have their suits dry cleaned both Peregrine and Mr Joy told them to get stuffed. That was when a glass of champagne was thrown into Peregrine's face followed by fists flying everywhere. I then spun around to be facing upside down on my pole where Mr Clegg and Mr Cameron were sitting. I saw nice Mr Cameron and nice Mr Clegg rolling up their shirt sleeves getting ready to go and sort out the brawlers," says Anna Hot Lips.

"That's right," says Candyfloss Sue. "I saw Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg rise from their chairs rolling their shirt sleeves up as well. The fighting stopped as soon as the brawling MP's saw they weren't going to allow it to continue. People in Britain are so lucky to have such real men running their country."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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