Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 15 February 2012

image for House of Windsor pikeys get the nod with Olympics caravan site
Beatrice and Eugenie's souped up 'Heirstream' leaves a lot to be desired

Windsor, Berks - They're the House of Windsor's equivalent of Dale Farm trailer trash and have camped out in royal palaces since World War II.

A London 2012 announcement confirmed this morning that 300 pitches have been earmarked for them between July 20 and August 16 in Windsor Great Park.

It is set amongst ancient royal meadows abutting the River Thames which will act as an impromptu eco-friendly latrine as no plumbing exists in the Great Park's 5,000 undulating acres.

Quite which direction the currents will be flowing is a matter of some concern with Olympic events such as rowing, flat water canoeing and kayaking scheduled for that stretch of the Thames.

A spokesperson for the Crown Estate said today it was 'baseless cynicism' to assume that the expected 1,000-strong campers would trash the park much like Dale Farm.

Locals however aren't so sure and have pointed out decades of the royal miscreants' abominable behavior that has sullied the very Throne of Albion.

Popular activities have included stealing cars, flogging dodgy roses 'for royal charities', nicking lead off Windsor Castle's roof, blagging their way into OAP royals' properties to rob them blind of state gravy train handouts, laying spurious tarmac drives on ancient cobbled Castle pathways and hounding the Queen's corgis with their canine HIV-infected pet Lurchers.

The Queen is expecting a one hundred grand rental for the site in a somewhat slippery deal done behind closed garage doors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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