Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 4 February 2012

image for Local Man Wears Odd Gloves On Trip Up The Shops
Henry Cooper's Old Gloves - Excellent Protection Against Bone Chilling Cold. And They Match!

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, 32, today revealed that he popped up the shops wearing odd gloves, much to the consternation of his fellow shoppers.

Amongst whom was a fat bloke without a coat in utter defiance of the impending big freeze.

It seems that Shuttlecock, acutely aware of the painful consequences of freezing weather on old fractures, decided to hunt out one of several pairs of thermal gloves, to protect his one time fractured thumb from suffering throbbing agony as a result of the extreme cold.

The only problem being that Shuttlecock's gloves, which hadn't been used for a year or so, were buried beneath a pile of crap, accumulated off internet website, eBay, by long suffering wife, Anne.

Undeterred, and spurred on by media warnings of the impending big freeze, Shuttlecock set about rooting through the aforementioned pile of old shoes, coats, empty beer bottles, old newspapers, and frozen chickens in an attempt to locate a pair of thermally insulated gloves.

Similar to the ones that the astronauts wear. Yet completely different.

"I knew I had some gloves somewhere," Shuttlecock told a bored shopper. "So I went to look for 'em in the same place I left them last winter. What I found was a huge box full of eBay crap which the wife has accumulated in the hallway. Anyway, after a good root and rummage, I could only find two gloves - and they didn't match! But at least one was a left hander, and the other a right. I don't care how odd they look, as long as they keep me 'ands warm!"

Up the shops, Shuttlecock was ridiculed by fellow shoppers, but appeared to care not a jot. Long suffering wife Anne told us:

"I know he sometimes wears odd socks, but that doesn't really matter all that much, because most of his socks are black anyway. Wearing odd gloves is a different matter. No wonder people laughed and pointed at him. He's brought shame upon the family. He really is a daft, odd glove wearing bastard."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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