Written by aydi
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Topics: Big Brother

Friday, 3 February 2012

image for Denise Welch reveals her ambitions

Recent Big Brother winner, Denice Welch, 53, has stated her intent to sleep with everybody in Britain before she reaches her 60th birthday. Already a quarter of the way through, she says she intends to complete her quest and then divorce her long suffering husband, Tim "WTF have I done to deserve this?" Healy.

Tim, 60, hasn't been seen since last August when he confided in his workmate Jimmy Nail, that he was in danger of becoming "dragged in" whilst pleasuring his wife with his whole arm. He was told in no uncertain terms by Jimmy, that next time, a pothole rescue team should be on hand just in case of an emergency.

Denise has also revealed that she is also intending to move because of all the abuse and suggestive remarks being shouted at her, as soon as she leaves her house.

"It's getting all too much" she moans, "Get your tits out, sit on my face, show us your arse and much worse! It's made me decide to move away"

Denise goes on to say " It's not upsetting for me, but once I've done all they ask I haven't got time to get pissed"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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