Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 18 January 2012

image for Boris Johnson International Airport To Open In Thames Estuary
Boris Karloff - He's Dead So He Doesn't Give A Toss Either Way

Following the refusal of the British Aviation Authority to rename Heathrow or Gatwick airports after him, London Mayor, Boris Johnson has renewed his attempts to open a new international airport in the Thames estuary, between Lancashire and Cumbria, on a man-made island.

Made entirely by some men.

Like that one what they've got in Hong Conk, or somewhere.

The man-made island is to be called Boris Island, and the airport, Boris Johnson's International Airport Of Hope.

Environmentalists are up in arms over the proposal, claiming that an airport will be an environmental disaster for environmentalists, as it will wreak havoc on the environment. Which, according to a number of studies will have what has been described as 'a negative' impact on the environment', which could be environmentally damaging.

To the environment. And its environs. And loads of other stuff knocking about.

Concerns have been raised as to the infrastructure required to support the project, but Boris Johnson pooh-poohed the concerns as 'scarecrowing and costermongering' conducted by 'anti-me subversives.'

And promised an extensive network of Boris bikes in order to transport an estimated three billion visitors a day into central London.

To see the Queen. If she's in. Probably. Although she'll most likely not be. She'll be either popping out to buy some oven chips, or a six pack of Stella from the offy, or a doner kebab from Ali Bullo's van on Park Lane.

Former Mayor, Ken Livingstone dismissed the whole concept as 'ill conceived' and described Mr Johnson as 'a right big foppy haired Johnson with a massive big foppy blond haired ego.'

Unlike him.

"I'm dead modest, me," said Blue Ken, who used to be known as Red Ken, until Arsenal got really crap and Chelsea became the in place to be.

In related news, Elton John stamped his feet and screeched that if an airport is to be named after anyone, it ought to be him, and Sir Paul McCartney has lodged an official complaint about having a bus shelter named after him in Croxteth.

Sir Richard Branson-Piccalilli also said that he's delighted that New York City is to be renamed Branson Pickleville, and New Jersey, to Donald Trumpfarto.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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