Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Socks

Monday, 16 January 2012

image for Footballer's Sock Sells For £776 On Internet Auction Site
Socks - Who Knows Where They'll Take Us?

A sock belonging to an internationally famous footballer has been sold on an internet auction site for a staggering £776. What is strikingly out of the ordinary about the sock, is that it isn't actually a sock which the player in question wore in a big game - it's just an ordinary black sock of the type people usually throw away when they get worn out and full of holes. The type that the player probably put on before going in for a routine training session.

But internet auction site memorabilia fanatic, Gillian Slutchworth, from Ramsbottom in Lancashire sees things with a different eye. And she's shelled out £776 of hard-earned in order to secure the sock.

Gillian is confident that her investment will pay dividends in the long run, although few others appear to share her sense of unbridled optimism.

She claims that she had inside information about the sock in question, including details of its origin, its authenticity, a letter of provenance and its potential as an investment opportunity.

Slutchworth revealed that the sock had once belonged to a high profile professional footballer who had been signed up as a junior by a top north west club, and retrieved from under his bed by his then landlady.

"He's internationally famous now," Slutchworth revealed. "But back then, when the sock was discovered, he was just a young lad renting a room in a suburb. People think I'm crackers for paying £776 for a crusty old sock, and in all honesty, it is a bit of a gamble, but one which I'm convinced will pay off."

A leading trader in sporting memorabilia expressed his astonishment that somebody would pay such an amount for a sock which has almost certainly never been worn in a major fixture, and which isn't even signed.

"It's a young player's sock," Slutchworth countered. "His landlady found it under the bed. Everybody knows what young lads do in socks when they're feeling a bit lonely and far from home. This particular young lad is now internationally famous and earns about a million quid a month, although for legal reasons I couldn't possibly name him. With advances in DNA technology, and cloning, all that Jurassic Park type stuff - the DNA could be worth millions in an IVF situation. I reckon it was a bargain at £776. And you know what? People always told me I was a bit thick at school. Let me tell you - they'll be laughing on the other side of their faces when I produce Cristiano Ronaldo's baby, get a hundred grand a month in child support, and then flog him to Manchester City for £500 million."

More likely stories as we get them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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