Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 11 January 2012

image for 'Clunge' - Not Really The Rudest Word Ever
Look Like A Clunge - Wear A Silly Hat.

Lexicologists today gathered at the Great Hall Of Lexicology near London's Golden Square, to debate the veracity of the word 'clunge' amid recent claims that 'clunge' is the most obscene description of female genitalia ever coined in the English language.

'Clunge' as a word, is in reality little more than a mish-mash of the words, vagina, clitoris, and that other one, the one with four letters.

The one which begins with a C and ends in a T and features heavily in the town name of Scunthorpe.

The general concensus appeared to be that essentially, 'clunge' isn't really shocking at all, and that basically it's little more than a studenty attempt to coin a new word.

And not a very original one at that.

Swedish lexicographer Lovalappa Fissplaps opined that the word wasn't remotely obscene, insisting that the word which features heavily in the town name of Scunthorpe, which is quite old, is an infinitely higher impact word.

"You can't go wrong with the word that makes up part of the town name of Scunthorpe," he said. It's blunt, it's brutal and it consists of hard, guttural sounds, but formed in a kind of snappy and almost shockingly direct fashion. Whereas 'clunge' starts off with a hard C and then just kind of fades away. I'm not remotely convinced that 'clunge' has a future as a genuinely descriptive expletive."

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, agreed.

"It's a bit weedy really," he said. "It lacks punch, zap, any kind of vigour. Personally, my favourite word is 'Bollocks' - it's just so descriptive. It's a versatile word which can be used to convey a whole range of definitions, and a very emotive word at that. But not in a gay way. It just wouldn't have the same impact if people went around saying 'Bolloche.' It's the same with 'clunge' - it lacks impact, immediacy...it just isn't harsh enough on the ear. Even when you add the word 'plunger' to it, it's still crap. I can't imagine a pub hard man who's just about to start a fight challenge an opponent by saying 'Come on you clunge plunger! Let's have it! It's all a bit Wordsworthy if you ask me. I think CUNT is a far more evocative word. Especially if you add an exclamation mark.'

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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