Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Vajazzle

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

image for Eight Out Of Ten Men Thought A Vajazzle Was A Musical Instrument
Is That A Banjo You've Got Down There?

Interesting results collated by the Department For Damned Lies And Statistics revealed that eight out of ten male Christmas shoppers thought that a vajazzle was a musical instrument.

Canvassers reported that the majority of male shoppers thought that a vajazzle was some sort of bizarre hybrid cross between a banjo, a ukulele, and a euphonium.

Women shoppers in the survey fared slightly better, with roughly one quarter correctly identifying a vajazzle as 'glued on costume jewellery for the fishy bit vicinity' whilst a further fifty three percent swore blind (Incorrectly.) that it was a lad's magazine featuring young women with copious bared breastiture, printed on glossy paper and kept on the top shelf of the local newsagents.

Mildly amusing (And that's being charitable in the extreme - Ed.) responses from women included, something you have on toast, a crossword with just the letter V as the answer, a TV programme presented by Carol Vorderman, how you feel when you're drunk, and a Pixar animated children's film in 3D.

When researchers revealed the true definition of the word to male shoppers at Manchester's Trafford Centre, they were met with mixed reactions.

"What's the point of that, then?" said Morris Coleman of Clayton.

"You can tart up a pig all you want," said Mervyn Harris, of Eccles. "But at the end of the day, it'll still be a pig. Me dad taught me that one."

"I don't really see the point in that," said long distance lorry driver, Bernard Bucklebelt, from Cheetham Hill. "In my experience, some of them would have been better employed applying soap and water with a flannel. Sticking glitter down there isn't going to make it smell or taste any better. Is it? Well? Is it?"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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