After a valiant effort England Goalkeeper, David Cameron had to admit defeat in Europe. There was dispute as to whether the score was 23-1 or 26-1 because several offside 'goals' have yet to be assessed but it was a pretty clear defeat.
Not to be outdone Cameron claimed he had 'put the backbone back into Britain' and to celebrate this 'great victory against all the odds' the country will now be called Great Backbone.
The Queen has been overjoyed by the news and Prince Philip declared that 'it was about time we put the Germans and the Greeks in their place'.
Doctors had to be called to the offices of the Daily Mail as the excitement became too much for some of them to bear. 'We are back in the days of Thatcher' declared one 'we know how to turn defeat into victory in this country. We always knew that Cameron was a Euroseptic.'
Along with Britain's new Backbone comes the victory of the Backbenchers who have risen from their seats in joy on the return of their hero. 'Our David' said Penelope Crouchend 'has shown he can do maths. He knew that when 150 Backbenchers were behind him he had to grow a Backbone quickly.'