Written by Joe Leff
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Topics: Smoking, Cigarettes

Friday, 9 December 2011

Smokers have been warned about increasing levels of violence involving cigarette stubs.

In a nicotine-related attack, a 17-year-old youth died in unexpected circumstances. A post-mortem revealed John Fagg had been strangled by a string of tab ends wound tightly round his neck.

Police arrested 50-year-old George Stubbs, who claimed he was 'a novelty necklace seller'.

The attack took place in the West Midlands village of Smerking Alowd. Other victims in the Midlands have reported being pelted at with heavy-tar tab ends.

Smokers are being urged to dispose of their tab ends properly, as they can be very dangerous when in the wrong hands around the wrong necks.

Victims' support groups have organized protest marches. "We are determined to stamp out all these stub attacks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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