Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 8 December 2011

image for Return of the flesh-eating Brussels sprouts
The little brassicas are cultivars of the wild cabbage

London - Shoppers were being warned today to be on the lookout for a toxic crop of the reviled Christmas veg linked to a notorious flesh eating bug.

Reports say the tainted sprouts may be the result of GM experiments into meat tenderizing technology suspected of spreading the necrotizing fasciitis bug.

Scientists at the Porton Down Government research laboratory have previously commented that the disease was first cooked up by World War II Fascists after whom the killer lurgy is named.

Today's tip-off comes after a Barking pensioner discovered 'a bloomin' great big hole' in the side of her turkey after carrying it home in a shopping bag crammed with some 'waste the difference' Brussels sprouts.

"Bloody 'ell, didn't realise the Nazis were behind this lot," Isle of Dogs resident Mrs Camilla Cockshaft told reporters from the Barking Evening Argus.

Environmental Protection Racket Agency inspectors may now quarantine the offending crop which has been traced to a hydroponics facility in voodoo-torn Haiti.

Home grown batches remain unaffected.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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