Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Friday, 2 December 2011

image for 70% of Brits would fail Turing Test
Alan Turing also invented Gaydar during WW2 to spot German bummers

A new report by the University of Oxbridge has tested ordinary Britons in a shopping centre to see if they can manage to fool the Turing test. 70% could not, and appeared indistinguishable from a robot programmed to mimic the simple mindless chatter of the lower classes.

The Turing test was devised in the 1940s by shirtlifting brainiac war hero Alan Turing, as a means to determine whether a computer had intelligence or not. If a machine's responses to questions could not be distinguished from those of a human being, then the machine would be said to have passed the test of intelligence.

Flamboyant but suicidal boffin Turing is also known for inventing the world's first programmable computer, whose purpose was to penetrate enemy intelligence and leak German seamen's whereabouts.

Chavbot 3000 was built at the University of Oxbridge, has an IQ of 55, an extensive knowledge of "X Factor" and says "innit" at the end of almost every sentence.

Scientists at the University created the burberry wearing machine as a joke, and didn't expect a computer to be able to pass the Turing test for decades. However, due to the lowering standards of intelligence in the UK, the test may be officially passed within months.

This would be seen more as a failure of British intelligence than a success for the computer though.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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