Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 30 November 2011

image for Blast reported in Buckingham Palace cryogenics bunker
As seen from the London Eye this afternoon

London - Suspicion is falling on a delivery of 1,000 barrels of sweet light crude - er...embalming fluid! - that's usually pumped direct into royal rejuvenation pods ahead of the Queen's Christmas Message.

Storage tanks deep below Palace kitchens began belching toxic fumes just after midnight in what Royal Protection Racket cops suspected might be a tit-for-tat reprisal for some nasty Iranian incidents involving centrifuges, plutonium and other stuff in the last few days.

TV images of President Ahmadinejad's rentacrowd henchmen torching the Queen's portrait outside the Tehran embassy yesterday were met with dismay by HM whose proposed two week State Visit to Iran next year 'now hangs under a potential mushroom cloud'.

"These ancient Egyptian recipe rejuvenation fluids are highly flammable, of course," Palace botox specialist Dr Ernest Formaldehyde told reporters at lunchtime today.

"However they offer a superb alternative to triple-distilled Dodgy Originals creme de menthe and other favorite royal pickling agents now taxed with ruinous duty levies in the latest government budget hikes."

Prince Charles' pimple-squeezer is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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