Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 26 November 2011

image for Kate's stunning teeth 'kept in a glass of water at night time'
Dentures dispell ugly rumor that Kate's 'polyphydontous' like sharks, rodents and, er, beavers

London - The cosmetic secrets of Kate Middleton's pearly gnashers were revealed at a press conference at lunchtime today.

A perfect alignment of all 32 teeth is mostly due to their part-time role that regularly ends at bedtime, orthodontic sources confirmed.

Fashioned from a composite acrylic/ceramic mixture the dentures are the latest invention of celeb dentist Dr Arthur Molar of Harley Street, London W1.

Other clients are said to include Cliff Richard, Joan Collins and Margaret Thatcher and a royal warrant from the Old Queen Mum still hangs in the surgery's plush client suite.

Today's report finally dispells 'cruel' rumors that wily Kate 'is polyphydontous, like sharks' and can grow a new set of teeth every few weeks to replace worn out or past-it cast-offs.

Last April pals suggested that Kate's wedding present to husband William was the removal of all her natural-born teeth - to minimise horrendous future cosmetic dentistry bills.

William then paid $$$s for a new designer pop-in pair, guaranteed by specialist divorce lawyers to last until at least the decree nisi.

A prenup agreement gives Kate permanent custody in the event of any royal split.

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