Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 21 November 2011

image for Mother tells Gallagher brothers to sort it out  with 'Trial By Combat'
She might have got the idea from this jousting tapestry

London - Peggy Gallagher has told her two 'cretin' sons to kiss 'n' make-up or sort it out via trial by combat in a modern re-enactment of an ancient judicially sanctioned duel.

A best-of-three-rounds joust could now take place near Tyburn Gate if all parties agree.

Liam and Noel have been suing each other's butts off in the High Court a daft spat about a drunken something or other at Wembley Arena circa 1994.

The feud scalated when the brothers were invited round to No 10 in 1997 for drinks with the hip Mr Blair.

Noel apparently said 'the nibbles were shite' and accused Liam of not being able to hold his liquor.

Liam retalliated with a 30 second vid showing Noel 'talking to Hughie' in the No 10 bog, his retchings down the pan frightening officials who thought 'someone's being murdered' in the upmarket privvy.

"Someone should knock those two's head together," Mrs G's cleaning woman Mavis Harbottle tweeted today.

"Wanna see pix of them in boxer shorts sparring with each other during the Queen's Silver Jubilee?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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