Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 29 October 2011

image for Arsenal Against Chelsea Best Part Of 'Day To Forget' For Local Man
Pompey just went 3-0 down.

A local man claims that Saturday will be a day to forget.

Mr Gideon Lambrusco claimed to be "minding his own business" when his day just started to unravel for no apparent reason.

"I just don't get it," said Mr Lambrusco, 46, of Panfried Gardens. "I had no idea that things were going to turn out so bad when I got up this morning.

"That Chelsea Arsenal game on the telly was good, I enjoyed that. But it started to go downhill after that.

"I had to take my guitar round to a mate's for a small repair so I was feeling a bit odd, like - you know, not having the axe to noodle around on is a bit disconcerting of a Saturday afternoon.

"And when I got back - it's only a ten minute walk - I saw Pompey were getting stuffed three bloody nil up at bloody Derby."

Things were only to get worse for Mr Lambrusco, who also faced the prospect of having to attend a function at a friend's club in the evening.

"I don't know what that's all about, but the missus said she'd agreed we'd go a couple of weeks back," he added. "So that's me Saturday night up the Swannee too.

"Oh, I think I'll have a cup of tea. This is a day to forget, all right."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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