My wife responded to the offer from the Tories to stand beside David Cameron and smile at the camera for just £100. However she was swindled in another broken Tory promise when the Managers would only pay her £50, because she didn't laugh at Cameron's 'jokes'.
'They were worse than The Spoof' she complained 'and I have heard most of them before from last Christmas's crackers!'
However my wife did agree to help the Tories organise their campaign to get more support from women.
'Don't talk down to us' she told the PM as he stood on his pedestal 'we know you went to Eton when only boys were on the menu, but you can't treat us like fags.'
She was told there is to be an urgent enquiry into women by the Tories. 'We want to find out what is wrong with them' a researcher informed her, whilst scratching his balls 'we know you want two for the price of one so we are working on policies that give you two outcomes instead of one.'
At a meeting with women Cameron told them to stop bitching and be like real men.