Written by IainB
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Topics: David Cameron, MPs

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

image for Constituency Boundary Changes have a secret agenda
Before long this man will rule forever, and then have plastic surgery that will make his face look like it's melting

The ConDem alliance's plans to change the constituency boundaries in the UK have been revealed to have a secret agenda.

"I've seen an early draft of the proposed new boundaries," said political observer, Anna Listz. "And I was shocked at what I saw."

Listz explained that the constituency change is a three phase plan.

"Phase one is the public debate and vote," said Listz. "As the ConDems know, the British public has voter apathy, and the plan is to hold the vote on a rainy day, reducing the numbers. This will allow the boundary changes to go through smoothly. It seems like a good idea, with less MPs and more equal constituencies."

The list of constituencies that will vanish is very telling.

"Opposition to boundary changes will evaporate after the change. because all the MPs who are against it, including Nick Clegg, are the ones losing the seats," explain Listz. "This is the insidious nature of the plan."

Phase two will then be allowed through without public vote, further reducing the constituency numbers.

"Phase three has not yet been released," said Listz, "but I can work out exactly how it will go, based on phase one and phase two. After Phase two has split the country into just a dozen constituencies, phase three will reduce it to one. David Cameron's."

Anna Listz has a stark warning for voters who have one chance to stop the plan.

"Vote against the plan," she said. "This is Cameron's plan to turn the UK into a dictatorship. With him in sole charge."

Cameron laughed off the suggestion. "Muwahahahaha," he said in a press conference. "First the UK, then Europe and then the world! Mine, all mine!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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