Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

image for The Only Way Is Essex Show Cast Up In Arms Over Title Confusion
A theatre yesterday.

A star-packed Dorking theatre show is under threat of cancellation because of the success of a 'pointless' book.

Dorking and Surrey Theatre Workshop are currently writing and rehearsing their annual celebrity extravaganza, The Dorking Revue, which they will perform at the Halls theatre in December.

This year the show's special guest stars are set to be the cast of The Only Way Is Essex. Previous guests have included the cast of Les Miserables and of the Royal Shakespeare Company's 2008 production of Henry VI, Parts I, II and III.

Workshop director, Quentin Tarantino - no relation to the celebrated Hollywood film-maker - said: "This is our big one. The people of the town look forward to this every year and it pulls in tourists from all over the Dorking environs.

"But this year our advertising has been compromised by the success of some pointless book of nonsense called The Dorking Review. People think we're selling the book and these TV stars don't like being upstaged.

"If the TOWIE cast pull out, we may have to cancel.

Mr Tarantino said he hadn't read the book, but he had noticed workshop members poring over it with furrowed brows.

"We can't compete with the big publishing powerhouses, but we are determined to try to make them change the book's title. We are up in arms about this."

A spokesman for the publishers said: "There's actually a place called Dorking? We thought it was, well, you know, a euphemism."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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