Written by DZ Wags
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Topics: Politics, Parliament

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Whilst most Britons believed that politicians had done their best to combat the rise of most abhorrent dances, an overwhelming majority were still critical of MP's delectation for the 'twist and shout'.

This latest poll, published in the Independent, uncovered that 76% of the public believe politicians are guilty of too much "twist and shout". Only 8% thought that politicians practiced the right style and number of dances at Westminster with 21% believing they could add to their repertoire. 5% didn't know.

The randomly selected 2000 participants for the poll stated that the main reason behind their dislike for the 'twist and shout' was that they believed politicians should spend more time having sex with their secretaries and selling their souls to the devil.

A spokesman for the political watchdog that commissioned the poll said in a statement to the press: "the public have overwhelmingly stated their preference that politicians get on with what they're good at and spend less time doing this silly dance and trying to be in touch with the public."

Government choreographers have met the news of the poll with a muted reaction. "Obviously the government rejects any claims that the wrong dances are being used," Alice Cronin, David Cameron's Director of Waggling Communication and Strategy, said. "But we will take the public's views on board and will be considering new and exciting dances for the coming weeks."

Political analysts believe the new dances will include the much popular breakdance. Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, commented, "If that's the case, I'm looking forward to doing the 'acid drop'. I remember it fondly from my university days."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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