Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 7 August 2011

image for Nani Batters Bitter Bertie Bluenoses - United 3 City 2
Blue Moon - Lord I Feel A Right Twat Now

Happy days today for the Bitters at Wembley in the Community Shield game against the dreaded Rags, as City took a two goal lead, courtesy of Jeleon Lescott and Edin Dzeko.

Happy days until half time.

"I seen 'em at Wembley on the telly," United fan Donald Skoob, a caretaker at Salford University told Skoob Sports News. "Full of it, they were. Crowing. Like cocks. They thought they had us again. But they can do the fucking Poznan all they want. They're still shit. Looks like Fergie's hairdrier did the trick again. They'll be groaning all the way up the M1 and the M6 this evening. That's if they don't stop off to do a bit of souvenir shopping up Tottenham High Road. That's about their fucking level. Bastard Moss Side Pikies."

It appears that the City fans bizarre Poznan tribute fell on deaf ears, just as Mario Balotelli's 'hard man' act failed when confronted eyeball to eyeball with Nemanja Vidic.

Chris Smalling reduced the deficit, then Nani equalised, and then the Portuguese lad left Citeh's player of the season, Kompany for dead, before swerving around a desperately scrambling Joe Hart to side foot the ball home for a winner that would have made George Best drool.

United won 3-2, leaving the fans ecstatic, and asking their noisy neighbours:

"Who are ya?"

There's more to come on this topic, and we'll bring it to you just as soon as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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