The noise of women's tennis has long been the centre of attention for many people. Screaming, grunting and howling have become part of this established game. Indeed, closing ones eyes can transport you, not to the lush courts of Wimbledon, but to the seedy sets of big-time pornography.
This has, unsurprisingly, not gone un-noticed by the ever hungry porn industry.
'Actress' Gloria Stitts tells us, "We have a lot in common, the adult film industry and tennis; I mean, for both of us 'love' means nothing. But while we can do all we can to show what's going on, there's just no way we can compete with the volume and ferocity of screaming and hollering like they do on court."
Adult film producer Mike Reamy-Gashstinks tells us, "The plan is to cut the soundtrack from the ladies games and dub it into the latest productions. We will, of course, pay royalties to the top earners, notably the Walliams sisters and that Russian bird who can howl for at least two seconds following a shot. Total orgasmic frenzy. We intend to give our customers a whole new reason to get 'Tennis Elbow'."
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