Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Saturday, 4 June 2011

image for Capello tips Bent to batter bent Blatter
Sepp Blatter 'in the trough'

England manager Fabio Capello has ordered his players to let Switzerland "have some" in the Euro 2012 qualifier.

Switzerland is famous for having spawned Sepp Blatter and for making cheese with holes in it.

Capello is tipping in form striker Darren Bent to smash some goals and rub the cuckoo clock owning Sepp Blatter's nose in it.

The Italian boss has fired up his troops by pinning up a mugshot of anti-Brit FIFA President Sepp Blatter on the wall of the Three Lions' changing room.

Bent's strike partner Wayne Rooney said:
"who's that nonce? I will chin him".

Capello told journalists in an 'off the record' interview this week that Blatter was "about as much use as a chocolate teapot".

Blatter and Capello, who are in the same secret Masonic Lodge, have plenty of 'previous'.

The FIFA President called Capello "a strutting Fascist martinet" after the Italian made a 'hand gesture' and called Blatter "a Swiss Banker".

Capello has told his players that FIFA, now owned by Blatter, are planning to operate a zero tolerance on footballers taking bungs, shagging prostitutes and having fights outside nightclubs after getting legless.

The motivated England team are champing at the bit and Capello is ready to "unleash the Dogs of War" on the boring neutral Swiss.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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