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Saturday, 4 June 2011

image for Sepp Blatter Announces New FIFA Sponsors

In the wake of the news that Adidas and Coca Cola are seriously reviewing their future business dealings with FIFA, the world football association's newly re-elected president Sepp Blatter has got his retaliation in first by announcing a new set of sponsors for season 2011/12 onwards.

Months of rumours and speculation about alleged bribery and corruption of officials at all levels has seriously FIFA's credibility as a viable global brand and Blatter has moved quickly to get previously untapped commercial sources to join the gravy train.

"I am delighted to announce that, effective from July 1st, 2011 ", Blatter told the world press, " FIFA is bringing on board a number of new, vibrant companies who are more than willing to use their not inconsiderable resources to fund the many worthwhile and socially inclusive projects the association undertakes all over the globe".

The first batch of new sponsors will include :


Pig Brown Carrier Bag, the world's foremost suppliers of brown paper bags.

Nikea, global leader in office furniture, particularly tables with plenty of room underneath for any transactions that might need to be carried out.

ServileRow, which has cornered the market in gents suits, especially trousers with deep pockets.


At the end of the press conference, Blatter showed there was no hard feelings towards the media by handing out complimentary tickets to next Saturday's concert at FIFA headquarters, to be headlined by Super Duper Tramp, the Supertramp tribute band whose speciality is performing the Seventies' rock group's classic album, "Crisis, What Crisis ?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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