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Sunday, 29 May 2011

image for Messi - We Could Have Scored Ten
Lambs To The Slaughter - Wembley, May 28th 2011

Barcelona superstar, Lionel Messi - rated by many as the best player in the world - shrugged off suggestions that Barcelona's 3-1 Champions League Final victory over Manchester United had been a hard fought contest.

The diminutive Argentinian genius insisted that his team could easily have been five goals up by the interval, and were it not for the heroics of United keeper Edwin Van Der Sar - making his final appearance for the club - could have had ten by the time the ref blew for time.

Or even twelve!

United started out promisingly enough, but from the moment Pedro slipped away from Vidic and arrowed a shot into the bottom right hand corner, it looked like being all one way traffic. United equalised through Rooney, making the half time score 1-1, but were lucky in most observers opinions not to go in at the half trailing by four.

It was that man Messi again who restored Barcelona's lead with an awkwardly bobbling shot from outside the box, that somehow squirmed past Van Der Sar, and when David Villa made it 3-1 on 69 minutes, there was no denying the outcome.

United just couldn't get the ball off the Catalans.

Messi commented:

"They wanted the ball. We not give them the ball. When they come to challenge for the ball, our boys pass the ball to somebody else. We make them chase shadows. They not like, but it is football. We give them good spanking. Oh yes. We could have scored ten tonight, or even twelve, but our boys not want to play too hard, because now is holiday time. So we take it easy against Manchester. The football is coming home, yes? Home to Catalunya."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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