Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 24 May 2011

image for Tempers Flare In Gary Neville Testimonial Match As Juventus Beat Man Utd
The Disappointed Crowd At Full Time.

It was always going to be a tense affair at Old Trafford, probably beginning when Phil Neville described brother Gary as "a knob" to Sky Sports reporter, Jeff Stelling in a pre-match interview.

Having shown up especially for the occasion, David Beckham was apparently a tad miffed when he discovered that he couldn't get his daily fix of pie, mash, and liquor anywhere in town.

Indeed, the United team, including old boys Nicky Butt and Phil Neville, appeared to be squabbling from the moment the game kicked off.

At one point, Beckham gestured to Gary Neville to come and take a free kick because seemingly he couldn't be arsed, then Neville refused, leaving Beckham - supposedly his best mate - to blast the ball over the bar.

It was a niggly game throughout, with Bebe continually running up blind alleys, Anderson being forced to break into a gentle jog, and Giggs taking early retirement and getting the hell out of it at the first opportunity, for some obscure reason.

With the scores standing at 1-1, Juve midfielder Bernini was fouled by Beckham and conceded a free kick. Striker Giaconda stepped up and lashed the ball into the United net off the far post from a seemingly impossible angle.

United became increasingly agitated towards the end as they pressed for an equaliser, their frustration spreading to the crowd and prompting a young lad to run onto the field and attempt to kick Beckham in the bollocks as he lined up a late corner.

At the final whistle, everybody appeared relieved that it was over.

Rumours that the United players became embroiled in a brawl in the tunnel as Sir Alex Ferguson pelted them with pizza slices after the game have yet to be confirmed.

Gary Neville didn't do a lap of honour, because the crowd had all gone home.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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