Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 8 May 2011

image for Chelsea blow it and sell Torres to Accrington Stanley for a fiver!
"Mon Dios Torres are you a TOSSER" ; even Terry knew it!

Man Utd blew Chelsea away and they should have had at least 2 penalties to add to the score. Even though the score was only 2-1 the difference was that between heaven and hell.

After pathetically attempting to revive there game by substituting Kalou for Torres, Chelsea's hopes died a "Torr(id)es" death even though a lapse in concentration from United defenders gave them a tiny leash of life, but they still had Torres.

Roman Abramovich had a long, serious talk with his major flop before the game and swore if he performed like a "tosser" once more he would flog him to Accrington Stanley (4th division) for a fiver.

Torres promised he would stop playing like an over-paid has-been and swore he would prove to the world that he is still a great striker and not one without Spanish Cojones, he failed.

After the game he asked a Manchester policeman the way to Accrington because he'd never heard of the place and it wasn't programmed in the navi of his Ferrrari.

Accrington Stanley FC are not really happy with their new striker, but were forced to buy him because Abramovich owns the town, the Major, the club and all of the surrounding factories.

As for United they showed FC Barcelona what real footie is and Sir Alex cannot wait to let his newly crowned champions loose at Wembley and has promised Pep Guardiola a warm welcome for Messi, he's letting his pitbull, alias Park Ji-Sung, bite his legs, snap, snap!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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