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Wednesday, 27 April 2011

image for Fergie Celebrates United Win Over Schalke With Fish Pedicure
A Wee Fish This Afternoon.

Following Manchester United's impressive Champions League semi-final demolition of Schalke 04 in Gelsenkirchen, United boss Sir Alex Ferguson decided to celebrate in a most unorthodox manner.

Goals from silky footed veteran, Ryan Giggs, and Wayne Rooney should ensure United a place in the showpiece European final at Wembley Stadium in May, where United became the first English team to lift the grand old trophy back in 1968, and the United bench was left in a state of euphoria.

None moreso than the indomitable Sir Alex.

Pleased as punch that his team are starting to look like the finished article, Fergie is eagerly anticipating what may be his third CL trophy, and decided to celebrate the win by doing 'something different.'

"Ah wiz looking on the internet," he explained. "When I came across an ad for fish pedicures, right here in Gelsenkirchen. So I just picked up the phone. Giggsy, Wazza, and Chicharito came along but I wouldnae let Ji Sung Park join us because I wuz a wee bit feared fae the fishies. Parky's a grand wee lad but he'll eat just aboot anythin.' Being Korean and aw that. Onyways - whit ye dae is ye taks off yer shoes and socks and puts your feet in a bowl ae watter, and they put these wee fishies in there, and they nibble aff aw the shite. It wiz reet guid."

Ever the groundbreaker, Fergie has promised to take the team swimming with sucker fish if they beat the Arsenal on Sunday at the Emirates.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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