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Monday, 25 April 2011

image for Kate's 'secret Pottermiss Hippo thong' at Wembley FA Cup presentation
An extra fifty grand for any Janet Jackson-like Superbowl wardrobe malfunction has been promised

Wembley - Kate Middleton will wear the 'lucky knickers' at the FA Cup Final on 14 May, it has been revealed.

A secret royal prenup clause sees the FA President's wife-to-be agreeing to present the trophy sporting the hidden Stoke City mascot.

A matching WAG-ish 30A under-wired brassiere completes the undercover outfit, thought to be the brainchild of Victoria Beckham Sportsgear Inc.

Next month's Man City v Stoke City cliffhanger is likely to start with husband William sporting the rival team's Moonchester and Moonbeam alien implants.

These are a wedding gift from Citizens owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan and act as a handy internal Sat-Nav for those perilous Search & Rescue chopper duties.

Although there's no official Cup Final appearance fee as such for the pair the FA's legendary £££s bungs may be in operation, as ever.

"Kate'll get an extra fifty grand for any Janet Jackson-like Superbowl wardrobe malfunction, heheh," an FA source said today.

Jackson's 2004 bodice rippa was an instant smash hit with fans, spawning dozens of subsequent lookalike boob shows.

Vanessa Perroncel is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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