Written by Reddon
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Friday, 22 April 2011

image for Everton Plan To Put A Bomb Under United
Yesss!!! Get In!!! You Only Sing When You're Winning!!!

Everton have revealed that they intend to blow Manchester United's title bid to smithereens when the clubs meet at Old Trafford over the Easter weekend.

It appears that Everton are becoming aggrieved by media reports which suggest that the Merseyside outfit are regarded as little more than a minor obstacle in United's title quest - there to be merely brushed imperiously aside.

The Merseysiders though, have other ideas.

Boss, David Moyes insisted that Everton shouldn't be taken lightly, and he definitely appears to have a point. In the corresponding fixture at Goodison Park earlier in the season, United squandered a comfortable lead, and could quite feasibly have lost it at the death, save for the untimely interruption of the full time whistle. A controversy still fresh in the minds of the Goodison faithful.

Everton have been criticised this season for their over reliance on younger players, but Moyes considers this opinion to be grossly unfair, pointing out that only four members of his first team squad are below the age of nine.

"They're great lads," he said. "Throw them a lollipop and they'll run all day for you. That's what every club needs."

Moyes remains convinced that his side can pull off a shock result at Old Trafford, although he refused to discuss team selection, tactics, or the burgeoning Jack Rodwell transfer speculation.

"That's fitba," he said wryly. "It's a funny auld game right enough. When you're on a high, you're over the moon. When things aren't going your way and you're nae getting the rub o' the green, you're as sick as a parrot. That's the beauty of the beautiful game - it's almost always a game of two halves, and you have to take each match as it comes. Of course we respect United, but we won't be overawed by them."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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