Written by Reddon
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Wednesday, 20 April 2011

image for Spurs Fix Gunners Firmly In Their Sights
Comin' Atcha Gooners! 'Ave It!

The latest news from White Hart Lane this lunchtime ahead of tonight's North London derby, suggests that Tottenham Hotspur have no intentions of allowing Arsenal an easy ride.

As every afficionado of the beautiful game knows, the divide between the two clubs would better be described as an abyss, and the Spurs contingent recall only too well how their rivals have rubbed their noses in it for years, cavorting and partying in the streets as the Gunners celebrated their victories in various competitions.

Even though it was over six years ago.

"The lads are well up for this one," a member of the Tottenham backroom staff explained. "They want to give it to Gooners with both barrels. Now we've had a taste of Champions League football, we want more of it. There's a feeling around here that we're in the ascendancy, and that lot are in decline."

Arsenal boss, Arsene Wenger laughed off slurs made by Spurs boss Harry Redknapp in the tabloids to the effect that the Gunners boss is losing the plot.

With a wry smile, a relaxed looking Wenger speaking from the Emirates stadium laughed off suggestions that he had lost the plot.

"I 'ave not lost ze plot. I didn't see it. You see what I did zere? I made an ironic joke. Ze press are always reporting me as saying zat I said 'I didn't see it,' ven I neverrr said zat 'I didn't see it,' at all. I joke freyquentement viz Mlle Wenger about zis. Eet 'as becurm a private in-joke. When she asks me where are ze car keys? I tell 'err zat 'I didn't see zem' and we laugh off our edz. Ze title race is far from oveurrr. Mark my words, mon ami."

Spurs manager, 'Happy' Harry Redknapp remains in pugilistic mood ahead of the game, saying:

"We won't be easing up on them. No chance. Crouchy's well up for this one, and Baley's chomping at the bit, Gomez is like a caged animal, pacing and pacing and pacing, Lennon's so excited you'd fink he wuz a Beatle, and DeFoe's reading Robinson Crusoe as part of his elaborate pre-match prep. I reckon the sparks will fly in this one. And no mistake."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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