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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for Ashley Cole And John Terry Spotted Laughing After Champions League Disaster
We Got Stuffed! Haaaah! It Was Soooo Funneee! - Some Rent Boys Last Night

An independent witness claimed last night to have seen Chelsea and England stars Ashley Cole and John Terry laughing as they boarded the team bus at Old Trafford following their team's season ending defeat in the Champions League quarter final second leg tie.

"It reminded me of that time when Ashley Cole got papped laughing at the World Cup after England got battered by the Germans," football fan Hayley Cropper (formerly Harold) of Weatherfield, told reporters. "I don't know what that bloke's on, but he doesn't seem to care about anything except texting pictures of his underpants to strippers."

There's no disputing the fact that Cole was given a rough ride by the Old Trafford faithful during the match, when he was taunted as to the current whereabouts of his ex-wife, X-Factor judge, former Girls Aloud pop sensation and toilet attendant beater, Cheryl.

"He deserved a rough ride, so he did," Armed Robbery suspect, Jim McDonald told us from his remand cell in HMP Strangeways. "Yer man Ashley needs to catch himself on, so he does. He was rubbish tonight so he was, and it's all because he cheated on Cheryl, so he did, and it's cost Chelsea their whole season, so it has. Him and Terry need to catch themselves on, so they do. And not go about laughing their stupid heads off following a season ending defeat. That's just insane, so it is."

It seems that there is no actual photographic evidence to support the Old Traffordgate laughter claims, but another fan who claimed to have seen the incident, one Royston Cropper, of Roy's Rolls in Weatherfield told us:

"I don't usually talk about things like this, so I won't."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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