Written by Inhopeless
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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for Exercise Found to Be Most Useless Skill in World of Work
What They Are Learning Today, Will be Useless Tommorow. It's Macaroni Night Tommorow

LONDON - A study of over 3000 employees and workplaces found out that, out all the lessons on the UK education curriculum, P.E./Games ranks last in importance.

"What will it do for me?" said Dr. Castel, who paused to work out the cosine of 0.34 in order to built a component for a jet engine, "if I ever need something, I can always call my assistant, or get in my car."

Many office workers find that the nearly 700 hours they wasted on P.E. over 15 years could have been spent better on revision, instead of pratting about with footballs. They also claim that P.E. teachers were often mean, cruel and sadistic freaks.

"I don't know why they bothered teaching us all that stuff," said George Thornes "Seriously... when will I need to use my muscles for a long, continuous period?"

According to a YouGov/Inhopeless/Economist poll, 70% of Britons denied that P.E. had an impact in their adult lives. However, the government - in whatever time period - doctors, and politicians have stressed the need for the increase in blood flow and oxygen count from increased exercise. However, Steven Hawking does no exercise, and he's the smartest man ever.

Many have noted that repeatedly raising one's knees, and attempting to hit a ball has not improved job prospects or life satisfaction at all. Many understand that it was their P.E. teacher's job to know about all that 'aerobic stuff', but there was no use unless one was to become a 'P.E. specialist'.

However, Thornes said that when his 8-year-old son asked him how to do a sit-up, he realized that he had simply forgotten.

"I used to be able to do that," he said. "But they were really hard, so I forgot about them. But what's the point? He's never going to use it anyway. If I ever want to play sports I can always have a go on the Wii, or better still, watch Sky Sports 3D."

Many Britons have urged the government to stop wasting millions on stupid P.E. lessons, and focus on diverting funds to obesity and chronic heart problems.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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