Written by IainB
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Topics: Golf, boring, explosions

Sunday, 10 April 2011

image for Masters heading for a dramatic conclusion
1 in 10 golfballs will release a toxic gas on being struck

Little do the competitors know, but the final day of the Masters is set to be the most dramatic yet.

Ordinarily, the final day of the Masters is as dull as every other day, with the competitors from all over the golfing world, knocking their little balls from pin to pole, wandering around in the nice warm sunshine, sipping ice cold drinks while they wait for their partner and opponent to have their attempt.

No longer.

The organisers have spiked bunkers with land mines, and put C4 in one particular hole. Should the golfer be on the green when the ball goes in, he can wave goodbye to all his balls, and not just the ones in his scrotum.

"It will add a little spice to the final day," said tournament organiser, Hank Wand. "One wrong shuffle in a bunker, and kaboom!"

Nor will it be a case of watch with glee waiting for the explosion for the crowd.

"We've put a sniper in a tree," said Wand. "He's going to be picking off the spectators. It's going to be great!"

Surprisingly, knowing that there is danger of death around every corner has not put fans and competitors off.

"I've been waiting for years for golf to get exciting," said Tiger Woods. "I think I've had all those affairs because my job is so damned dull."

"It's about time they came up with something like this," said Wendy Anchor, a life long golfing fan and winner of Mastermind 2006 with questions on the greens of Sydney as her specialist subject. "I've followed a variety of golfers all over the world, waiting for something exciting. Perhaps they should try it with Formula One next."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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