Written by Matt Maus
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Topics: Olympics

Saturday, 9 April 2011

image for Great Britain pulls out of Olympics!
The 2012 Olympic Flame

The sporting world was in a state of bemused shock last night after the shock announcement that Great Britain are refusing to participate in the 2012 London Olympics.

Speaking for the team, a spokesperson said, "Some of the chaps on the committee the other evening noticed that after a few beers, under certain lighting conditions and if held upside down several feet away, the 2012 logo looks, if you sort of squint a bit, a bit like the word . . . ", Mr Sebco almost spat out in disgust the word, "France!".

"We just don't feel we can participate in an event that has such obvious secret alliances with Britain's geographically closest onion-eating enemy. It undermines our whole raison d'être. The esprit de corps amongst the team members is such that any joie de vivre we may have enjoyed has now dried up like a cream cracker."

He went on to say vis-à-vis the French connection that he considered it a bête-noire; giving carte blanche to the organisers to bring a certain je ne sais quoi to the games. He also said something about it not being cricket.

Lord of London, Boris (Buller) Mayor (83) said this morning, "Well, look here, you know, if Team BG . . . or GB, whatever they're called, don't want to come to our games, then, you know, jolly well so be it. They won't be missed. The games towards which we have been working so jolly hard , will, you know, jolly well go on without them. But we'll miss them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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