Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Horse Racing

Saturday, 12 February 2011

image for Kauto Star punters feeling vindicated as horses tasered at Newbury
A sudden low level voltage shock backfired spectacularly

Berks - (Bolt From The Blue): A race-knobbling syndicate is suspected of firing an equine taser at Newbury racecourse which killed two horses on Saturday.

Fenix Two and Marching Song dropped dead in the parade ring amid suspicions 'someone in the crowd' had let off a stun gun.

A similar - albeit non-fatal - incident took place last month at Kempton when odds-on favorite Kauto Star screwed up badly in the King George.

Today's attack must have come from much closer quarters in humid conditions ideal for electrocution.

Terrified racegoers watched aghast as two contenders from the day's opener dropped down to their knees, the smell of singed horseflesh redolent in the damp afternoon air.

Racecourse security arrived in a flash amid mounting hysteria about 'an attempt to throw the race' backfiring spectacularly.

Two other runners in the Novices Hurdle also took a hit with Kid Cassidy and the Merry Giant most affected.

The rest of the meeting was then abandonned and a PR statement issued, blaming a rogue underground electricity cable coming alive suddenly after 30 years...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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