A story about the extraordinary lengths of African footballers penises has been banned in several African countries after it was deemed by native scholars as "racist".
Some readers may be surprised to learn that there is, in fact, such a thing as an 'African scholar', but a conference in Lagos last week was attended by more than 400 'scholars' armed with spears and shields, and dressed in traditional African scholar dress of loincloths and not much else.
The news about the Cocks of the Umbongos first appeared last week after a writer on satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, Montague Montgomery, published a story about football's new football offside rule, and how it appeared to be racist. Players could now be said to be 'offside' if there penises were in an offside position, whereby, the penis had no opposition player between itself and the opposition goal when the ball was played forward to the penis's owner.
As African footballers - and, indeed, scholars - have longer penises than their white counterparts, this places them at a distinct disadvantage when the referee's assistant has to make a crucial decision, although it is a positive boon to those self-same players when they are 'entertaining' female fans in the showers after games.
Commenting on the original story, head of the African Conference FA, Rastus Odongo, said:
"The new rule is totally biased against those of us from Africa who have girthsome and lengthy cocks. My wives are always appealing for offside."
For those who wish to read it, here is the story from Mr Montgomery:
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