Written by Mike Gatspy
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Saturday, 8 January 2011

With "King" Kenny Dalglish taking over at Liverpool for the rest of the season, and the brief return of Kevin Keegan to Newcastle still fresh in the memory, bookmakers have opened a special market on the next former hero to return to management in the premier league with their former club.

Tommy Docherty is favourite for a return to Aston Villa, followed by a return to Chelsea for, er, Tommy Docherty. A Hill's spokesman said "We realise that some of these quoted appointments will be considered unlikely by many, but I just need to point out that Liverpool have got Dalglish out of the cupboard and dusted him down. We expect lively betting on this market."

When asked if he would predict the next returning hero, Dalglish said something. Linguistics experts are working on it.

Latest betting

6/4 Tommy Docherty to Aston Villa
9/2 Tommy Docherty to Chelsea
6/1 Tommy Docherty to Wolves
7/1 Tommy Docherty to Man Utd
7/1 Glenn Hoddle to Chelsea
8/1 Glenn Hoddle to Tottenham
10/1 Bill Nicholson to Tottenham, with Glenn Hoddle as assistant and a medium to relay messages between the two.
10/1 David O'leary to Aston Villa
12/1 Howard Kendall to Blackburn
12/1 Howard Kendall to Everton
50/1 Christian Gross to Tottenham
100/1 Dr Jozef Venglos to Aston Villa

Others on request.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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