Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 2 January 2011

image for God appears on Rooney's balding head?
Spoof readers please look carefully at Rooney's balding head, you just might see God!

The first miracle of 2011 happened yesterday in the Black country (literally), Birmingham, UK. After not scoring in open play since March 2010, the enfant terriblé of English soccer actually did it.

After all of the well documented turbulences in the England's superstar's life, i.e. Acting like a horny moron, being a spoilt Scouse brat, being a total brainless over-paid multi-millionaire soccer twat; he actually did what he's paid much too much for, score a goal in open play. (OK, he popped a corner over which actually went past the first post, Nani please pay attention, onto Chico's head and United luckily got out of jail)

Now this happening was certainly a miracle and while Rooney was actually scoring a "fatamorgana" appeared on his balding head in the form of a demonic sihouette, he then guided the ball past WBA's feeble goalie, it was GOD showing the world that he does have a heart even for over-paid, horny, soccer superstars.

Sir Alex,on his birthday, promptly went off to the local church too thank God for this sacred act of holiness and the rest of the team, including Rooney, all went out for a good old fashion New years piss-up. (The way United played yesterday they could have all been pissed anyway!)

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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