Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Brett Favre

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Directors Bobby and Peter Farrelly, who directed the smash hit There's Something About Mary, are demanding the 20th Century Fox temporarily remove the 1998 movie from store shelves, Netflix queues and near-constant rotation on Ted Turner-owned basic cable channels until they re-edit a certain athlete's scenes.

The Headline Is Three Times Longer Than Brett Favre's Penis.

Indeed, but "Farrellys Nix Favre Cuz of Dix Pix" seemed too esoteric.

"Near the end of the movie, when all the guys are discussing how they've lied to Mary, Brett Favre was supposed to be the least creepy potential love interest," said Peter Farrelly, the brother who is not a transvestite.* "The guy texts pictures of his penis to chicks. How the hell is he going to be believable as the respectful white-knight?"

Sadly, The Farrellys don't have the juice they had after "Mary", which was made for less than $25 million and grossed $369,884,651.53 worldwide.

"Yeah, this was definitely before their 'Decade of Suck'," said a spokesperson for 20th Century Fox, the studio that lost millions on Farrelly sh-tpies like 'Osmosis Jones', 'Stuck on You', 'Fever Pitch' and 'The Ringer'. "They aren't demanding anything from Fox nowadays."

"If they really want to edit some of their older movies," concluded the Fox spokesperson. "Could they edit that big-headed 'Watchmen' chick out of 'Heartbreak Kid'? I can't really suspend disbelief with Ben Stiller falling in love with Silk Spectre II."

"Or at least make the movie funny?"

The Farrellys will return to the silver screen with 'Hall Pass', the J.B Smoove/Joy Behar romantic comedy that'll bring love and happiness to tens of moviegoers on Valentines Day, 2011.

* We are now aware that this is incorrect. The tranny director is Larry Wachowski, who directed 'The Horse Whisperer', 'Saw III' and "The Matrix 4: A New Hope" with his brother Brian De Palma. We regret the error.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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