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Wednesday, 17 November 2010

image for Royal wedding omen as ToCatchA-Prince romps in at Fakenham
The 69 year old chestnut mare's intestines became impaled on the final flight

Norfolk - (Royal Ass Mess): Next year's royal nuptials of a fake prince and a silly little minx were upstaged at Fakenham racecourse yesterday.

A 13 year-old gelding - a racewhorse minus its chestnutz - called ToCatchA-Prince romped in at 250-1 in the Aintgottaprayer.con Triumph Hurdle.

Jockey Willy Slag rode the novice to a five length win over a field of three - mostly glue factory rejects trained by local pro Capt Hemlock Frobisher.

Hours earlier desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton had managed to drag a kicking and screaming Prince William in front of assembled press men at a Palace news conference.

And the rest as they say is hystery.

Today's portents might not be so welcome for royal wedding watchers however.

During this afternoon's 2.35 Blag-Your-Way-Out-Of-This-One Chase at Fakenham the favorite Puppet Monarch had to be put down humanely after a massive misjudgment of the final fence.

Jockey Desmond O'Blarney's royal silk colors ended up bedaubed in whorseshit as the 9 year old chestnut mare's intestines became impaled on the final flight.

A postmortem later found the roughly ridden old girl's pacemaker had simply given up.

Camilla Fucker Bowles is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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