Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for Manchester United's Chicharito's Football Poster Outselling Wayne Rooney's By A Ten To One Margin
A football which Chicharito autographed for Mexico's President Nacho Winslow.

MANCHESTER, England - The 22-year-old football sensation from Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico, Javier Hernandez Balcazar is being hailed as one of the best young talents to come around in a long time.

"Chicharito" or little pea, as he is called first began playing soccer in his native Mexico at the tender age of ten months.

His father, former star Javier Hernandez Gutierrez, said that even at the age of ten months his son had some nice moves and was already developing quite a style.

One of his uncles Pablo "El Tamale" De La Siesta said that at the age of two, little Chicharito was already scoring goals against boys who were 12 and 13.

Javy, as his mother Sopapilla calls him, pointed out that her son got his unusual nickname from his father, who was known as "Chicharo" or pea due to his green eyes.

His mother, who works sewing serapes at the Pancho Villa Serape Factory in Guadalajara, was nicknamed "Salsa" because of her salsa colored hair, which she swears is natural.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Larry King spoke to Manolito Chupadedos, who dated Sopapilla back at Las Enchiladas High School in Guadalajara, and he confirmed that her natural hair color was in fact the color of salsa.]

The president of Mexico Nacho Winslow has stated that the entire Republic of Mexico is extremely proud of their native son. He has stated that he is proclaiming that November 13, 2010 will be El Chicharito's Gran Sabado Dia (Chicharito's Great Saturday Day).

The president noted that he has received an email from Javy's Manchester United coach Alex Ferguson informing him that Chicharito's football poster is outselling Wayne Rooney's football poster by a 10 to 1 margin.

SIDENOTE: The Mexican senate is considering officially changing the name of the country's most famous volcano from El Popocatepetl to El Chicharito.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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