Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 21 October 2010

image for "Wayne Rooney Has Shit His Nest" Say United Fans. No Turning Back Now
Where The Hell Is My Agent? I Told Him I Was Serious!

The message from Manchester United supporters to want away striker Wayne Rooney was virtually unanimous, according to Old Trafford insiders.

The vast majority of fans appear to be of the opinion that if Rooney wants to leave, he should just get on with it and fuck off.

It appears that, having been given expert guidance by a complete and utter bunch of unmentionably incompetent fuckwits, Rooney wants out.

Sources wonder who the hell he's been listening to, and can't come up with a sensible answer. The man who consorts with escort girls, has gambling and anger management issues decides apparently to take advice from idiotic agents and ne'er do wells.

Then he turns on the Old Trafford faithful like a scorpion.

United fan, Jarbo the Killer commented from a pub in town:

"I don't know who that muppet thinks he is, but he's been given some seriously bad advice. He's boiled it with the fans, boiled it dry, and even if Fergie accepts the spud headed Scouse tosser back into the fold, we won't. Who the fuck does he think he is? He can fuck right off, right now, and we won't bat an eyelid. They say he can box a bit - well he wants to fucking twat the head off his agent for starters - because that prick has killed his career stone dead. His credibility is shot to shit, and from here on in, he'll just be known as a fat greedy pie scoffing bastard. There's no forgiveness here. We want the Scouse muppet out. The only way from here is downhill. Rapido. World Cup winner my arse. Fucking spud head."

Skoob Sports News would like to point out that we do not usually endorse the use of foul and abusive language in order to prove a point, but Jarbo is a bit scary when his dander's up.

Really - he is.

Wayne Rooney - looking for a new agent?

He will be. Trust us.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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