Written by marburk
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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

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How Trev Feels at Barna

With transfer deadline day fast approaching in the Galway District league, we come with news of a shock transfer. The once prolific but troubled St Ellens striker Trevor Clohessy who joined arch rivals Barna Furbo when contract talks with St Ellens chairman Williams broke down is now set to return to his old stomping ground in Cahertymore.

There are many rumors floating around Galway stating reasons why Barna Furbo were so keen to off load the troubled man. It is understood that Barna have offered Ellens five free footballs if they would take him back. Barna have denied all such claims and say that 'We did not have a game last week so I think Trevor went to the Ellens match to see how they were getting on. He was inspired by the magnificent defender who was on the end of every ball and chipped in with a fantastic goal to earn his team a draw'. Of coarse Barna are referring to Tommy Williams who scored a peach leaving the Ellens keeper rooted to the spot in the process.

Another bad boy of Ellens, who was also at the match in Tuam has signed his contract this week. Shane Duignan better known for his off the field antics than anything he does on the pitch has finally relapsed from his addiction to Ellens and signed for another season with the club. This could spell more trouble for Williams and the rest of the playing staff. In the last game of last season Duignan tackled his own player, manager and hero Tommy Williams. This is what prompted him to get help for his addiction and with this latest relapse John William may need to rethink his 'no insurance for the players' policy. The loose cannon Duignan said on his return 'I cannot wait to get back out on the pitch and show Tommy what I am made of. My fantasy team is rubbish and this is all I have left in my life'.

In other news on Ellens, it has been reported that superstar Marin Burke could be on his way to play with Barcelona. Barcelona FC have released a short statement:

'FC Barcelona really really want Martin Burke at the Nou Camp. Himself and Cesc are two players we really want but if we had to choose we would take Burke every day'.

Burke has declined to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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