Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Tour de France

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

image for Off Yer Bike! - Tour De France Latest
Oops - They've Fallen Off Again!

By way of a change from football, Skoob Sports News despatched our man to Belgium to cover the Tour De France bike race, despite the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about bike racing.

It proved to be a very confusing experience for Skoob Sports News reporter Eddie Handlebar.

Apparently the cyclists set off the day before yesterday in Belgium, and a dog ran out in front of them, so they all fell off, and their bikes got tangled up.

Once they'd untangled the bikes, they all got back on again and started pedalling like the clappers.

Then they came to sharp turn and all fell off again, getting their bikes tangled up in the process. After untangling the bikes, they all got back on again and started pedalling like the clappers.

Then they stopped for the day. Eddie Handlebar had no idea what was going on or who - if anyone - was winning.

Then they all went to bed.

Yesterday they all got up, got on their bikes, and started pedalling like the clappers again.

Then they hit a cobbled street and everybody fell off all over again. And the bikes got tangled up and they all untangled them, got back on them and started pedalling like the clappers again.

Which prompted Eddie Handlebar to send the following email:

"I have no idea what's going on. It's just a load of blokes falling repeatedly off their bikes. What the fuck am I doing here? You bastards!"

Skoob Sports News supports the Tour De France because it's an environmentally friendly sport. Even though it's fucking stupid and pointless.

More as we get it. Maybe.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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