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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for Andy Murray Has Fans
Ex Chancellor, Alistair Darling: Not a fan...

Scottish Tennis misfit, Andy Murray, has sensationally gained his first actual fans today. The British Number 1, notorious for his surly personality redolent of a whiny teenager, though, has put his new-found surge in popularity down to his charisma.

The canny Scot added that he "hopes to win Wimbledon, but there is some stiff competition from Rafa Nadal, and he is capable of some really good tennis."

His press comments have been branded "lazy, trite and insensitive," and certain quarters within the media have slammed him as a "dire indictement on the modern British man."

Murray went on to address his new fans, thanking them for their "unwavering support." However, the fans and their spokesperson, Johnny Thalassites, noted that they have "only been fans for a day."

The fantastical turn of events began today with Thalassites and a group of close friends watching World Number 1, Rafa Nadal, train. Having sat patiently watching the session, hoping for an autograph, the group began to bore. Nadal, clad in white and flanked by security then, after an hour I hasten to add, proceeded to walk briskly on without signing the merchandise.

Watts-Morgan, another member of the group who actually got an autograph, went as far as to say that Nadal's contempt for fans was "clear," and that he would now be switching his allegiances to Murray for Wimbledon.

The furore continued outside Court 12, with Stileman, 14, complaining that "Nadal showed blatant disregard for his fans," and remained critical, adding: "This whole episode has become a farce."

Ortiz, another member of the group, seemed phlegmatic about the incident, yet admitted this had soured his view of the Spaniard. "Nadal was bang out of order today; I am now officially supporting Murray."

Shocking as this may sound, then, Andy Murray now has fans. And this startling revelation could prove a welcome break from the mundane beat of the incessant Wimbledon drum as we head into Day 11. Good luck to all competitors, and if I am to now follow public opinion - in particular, to Murray!

Stop the press:
Following this shocking turn of events, leading to Murray actually acquiring a set of fans, a slew of celebrities have come out in support of the star. Alistair Darling remains against Murray, however these include Jedward, Cheryl Cole, Oprah Winfrey, Justin Bieber, Fabio Capello and Katie Price. The latter confirmed: "Murray has more fans than me, so I better get on the bandwagon while I can, then.."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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