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Thursday, 17 June 2010

image for Darth Vader Lands World Cup Stadium Announcer Job
Darth Vader practices his announcer role

Listen carefully when Greece take on Argentina next Tuesday at the Peter Mokaba Stadium, Polokwane. As well as the relentless drone of the Vuvuzelas, a familiar voice can be heard as substitutes' details are called out, the attendance is announced and added time details are communicated to the crowd. Yes, the announcer is none other than leading villain of the Star Wars films, Darth Vader.

Fed up with the film business and tired of his behind-the-scenes role in the Galaxico strategy at Real Madrid, Lord Vader has made a major career change by turning to the role of stadium announcer.

Said the evil leader from the Star Wars franchise, 'depite all that power, I never really liked being in charge of all those spaceships. And the uniform was so uncomfortable, especially that helmut. I'd always thought I could do a good job on my ship whenever I heard them calling out instructions over the tannoy and now the FIFA 2010 World Cup has given me a chance to prove my worth behind the microphone'

Vader had to work his way through numerous Britain's Got Talent style auditions but swayed the Organising Committee judges when he cleared a stadium after a warm-up match by threatening to obliterate the West Stand with Battleship Lasers, unless the crowd left for home. 'I found that my deepest voice worked perfectly. They definately thought that they were about to feel the force', he quipped. 'Should have used it more with that upstart Skywalker!'.

Following excellent feedback that his firm voice can be heard even above the noise made by the Vuvuzelas, Bob 'The Cat' Beavon, who has been seconded to take charge of the England World Cup 2018 bid is adamant that a role will be found for Darth at one of our stadia, should our bid for the Tournament prove successful.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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